Mad Money

Okay, so this, like, never happens, but I actually have some mad money to burn. My mom sent me a hundred bucks for my birthday, and I'm not supposed to spend it on anything that I need. Nor am I allowed to buy things for other people, for the house, etc.

And since this never happens, and since I'm the stereotypical martyr mom that takes care of everyone but herself (except to get my highlights, honey), I have no idea what to buy.

All I know is that I don't want a massage. And I've already thought about shoes. Any other great ideas?

Help me?

Anyone?

"And it's BAD (bad), BAD (bad) Irma Brown.."

Ahhhh. So nice to be smacked THREE TIMES by my three year old, once in the middle of Target. Nothing like that and hearing four other mothers suck in their breath simultaneously to make me almost completely loose my shit. And let me tell ya,

the time outs weren't workin', people.

So, thanks to Hausfrau, I bring you this. Kindly scroll down to the video, and turn up the volume. Once the kids are in bed, of course.

Not that we advocate the kind of behavior shown here...

... but yesterday, it was so, so very tempting.

Bathtime

Bathing a one-year- old can be one of those lovely, calm, mist-covered fantasy parenting moments that springs up every, oh, six months or so. Bathing TWO one-year-olds , however, can make a person literally burst ino flames.

Therefore, Hubby and I make sure we always have on hand an ample supply of this and this and these.

Yesterday, however, I discovered that we should have saved our money. Turns out, Brendan's favorite bath toy is his brother's.....

There are some things that a mother should not be forced to witness.

What Have We DONE????

Holycrapholydrapholycrap!!!

We bought a house today. In Canada. It's beautiful and I thought I would DIE DIE DIE if our offer wasn't accepted.. And then it was, and I immediatly started to regret the whole thing.

This is the EXACT SAME THING that happened whenever I went after some guy who I swore was the hottest, the smartest, the funniest thang ever to cross my path. And then once he asked me out, I instantly thought, "Eh. Not so much."

Anyway, we close in May, and we haven't even put our current house on the market yet. HA HA!! HA!! Hoooooo boy!!! I think I'm starting to twitch!!!!

Does anyone have some cash to donate to our anemic down-payment fund? Maybe I'll get some Google ads over here. Or sell some eggs. I hear there are a few prime street corners I could walk downtown....

By the way, were you all even aware that I will become an immigrant this summer?

Hausfrau and I have decided that I will spend my days living the Canadian Dream in my babushka, pining away for the Old Country.

I wonder if they have hot dogs in the New World?

Ugh

Hungover.

Ate my weight in guacamole.

Go Steelers.

Yay.

Random....

1) First off, Happy Birthday, Peaches!!!

2) Second, I thought I'd share with you what my son said while whipping around the dining room on the baby's scooter:

"Look Mommy! I'm a racist!"

Just what every mother hates to hear. And so soon after explaining MLK Jr. Day, too. Of course, I told him the proper word is "racer."

3) On a (much) more somber note, Jenette had her baby boy yesterday. Get a box of Kleenex and go check out her post.

Off to hug my boys...

Jenette, one of Hausfrau's friends, needs some support. Please go to her blog at some point today, if you can. Does anyone have any experience with what she's going through?