I Always Knew I Had Althletic Skill

Last night I dreamt I was kicking butt as an olympic pole-dancer. The judges were all non-plussed housewives, with the exception of one guy, who though he was there for a thrill. Sadly, he blanched upon seeing my stretch marks, and demanded an explaination. "Look," I said. "This isn't about beauty. It's about technique. Notice I'm wearing a sports bra. This is serious competition, not some seedy bar. " With that, he up and left. For some reason, Baby Girl was there. I'm not sure why she was there, but I was very careful to wash and sanitize her hands before we left.

I can only imagine what my Wheaties box would look like.