GRRRRR.....
I know I swore I'm off 'til Monday, but I, alone, just finished the first of probably 2 midnight feedings, and I can't sleep until I get this off my chest. Then I'm done. Really.
Public Notice to Everyone at the Saturday Market:
Yes, you were right. I WAS huge. How nice of you to notice. I had two babies in there, but I got sick of telling everyone. Sometimes I just wanted to buy my escarole in peace.
Now that you can see they're here, there are a few things I need to make clear.
1) They're identical.
2) That means they are BOTH boys.
3) No, we're not disappointed that one isn't a girl.
4) No, we're not trying again so we can maybe have a girl. We love our sons and we don't feel like they're a consolation prize.
5) And even so, it's none of you're business.
6) No, we didn't use fertility treatments. Sometimes these things just happen.
7) And again, none of your business. Would you ask the parents of a singleton how THEY got pregnant?
8) Yes. My mother was a twin.
9) Identical.
10) Conjoined.
11) Yes, really.
12) My aunt died at birth.
13) The leg. And hey, is this in the realm of not your business, also?
14) Identical twins are never genetically passed down through the generations.
15) Fraternal twins are. So the my family link is moot, anyway.
16) Yes, I'm exhausted.
17) No, I'm not a Supermom.
18) I don't do it any better than anyone else would, nor do I have a special aura around called "Mom of twins." I'm just trying to survive, just like you would be.
19) Hey, anyone notice my older son standing here? He'd love to say hi and talk about something else besides how lucky he is to have twin brothers.
20) For instance, he loves to ride his bike and watch butterflies.
21) Please stop touching my kids, at least on the face and hands. All 30 of you who did it today.
22) Really. I'm not a germ-phobe, but we just spent an entire winter indoors, and if they get sick again, I'll be stuck inside again. Crying.
23) Yes, it's really, really hard.
24) I sometimes wish that I still had them both, but not at the same time.
25) I know it will get better. But if you keep asking me to tell you what it's REALLY like, I think I might just burst into tears right here from all of the love and struggle. And really, all I came for was escarole, anyway.
Oh, and to the nice lady who stopped me on the way out? My earnest smile and thumbs up were quite sincere. You seemed so sweet, but I don't speak Mandarin Chinese.
I know I swore I'm off 'til Monday, but I, alone, just finished the first of probably 2 midnight feedings, and I can't sleep until I get this off my chest. Then I'm done. Really.
Public Notice to Everyone at the Saturday Market:
Yes, you were right. I WAS huge. How nice of you to notice. I had two babies in there, but I got sick of telling everyone. Sometimes I just wanted to buy my escarole in peace.
Now that you can see they're here, there are a few things I need to make clear.
1) They're identical.
2) That means they are BOTH boys.
3) No, we're not disappointed that one isn't a girl.
4) No, we're not trying again so we can maybe have a girl. We love our sons and we don't feel like they're a consolation prize.
5) And even so, it's none of you're business.
6) No, we didn't use fertility treatments. Sometimes these things just happen.
7) And again, none of your business. Would you ask the parents of a singleton how THEY got pregnant?
8) Yes. My mother was a twin.
9) Identical.
10) Conjoined.
11) Yes, really.
12) My aunt died at birth.
13) The leg. And hey, is this in the realm of not your business, also?
14) Identical twins are never genetically passed down through the generations.
15) Fraternal twins are. So the my family link is moot, anyway.
16) Yes, I'm exhausted.
17) No, I'm not a Supermom.
18) I don't do it any better than anyone else would, nor do I have a special aura around called "Mom of twins." I'm just trying to survive, just like you would be.
19) Hey, anyone notice my older son standing here? He'd love to say hi and talk about something else besides how lucky he is to have twin brothers.
20) For instance, he loves to ride his bike and watch butterflies.
21) Please stop touching my kids, at least on the face and hands. All 30 of you who did it today.
22) Really. I'm not a germ-phobe, but we just spent an entire winter indoors, and if they get sick again, I'll be stuck inside again. Crying.
23) Yes, it's really, really hard.
24) I sometimes wish that I still had them both, but not at the same time.
25) I know it will get better. But if you keep asking me to tell you what it's REALLY like, I think I might just burst into tears right here from all of the love and struggle. And really, all I came for was escarole, anyway.
Oh, and to the nice lady who stopped me on the way out? My earnest smile and thumbs up were quite sincere. You seemed so sweet, but I don't speak Mandarin Chinese.
posted by The June Cleaver Diaries at 9:47 PM
8 Comments:
Ugh.
I can't believe how clueless some people are. I would never ask those questions of a stranger, except perhaps the "Are they twins?" one if I wasn't sure if they were. Only, of course, after stopping you to say what a lovely family you have (older boy obviously included) and what cute kids they all were.
I remember being so sad for Christopher when Sophie was a baby. She was absolutely gorgeous, HUGE blue eyes and a headfull of hair. He was adorable, too, but exactly how does a three year old compete for crowd attention against a baby? She got LOADS of attention and he didn't. I'd always take him aside and tell him how he used to attract EVERYone when he was a baby--he was truly a Gerber baby and everyone used to tell us "Get him in modeling!"
Anyhoo, sorry for the long comment, I just can totally relate!
We also have the 'here's my other child, he's nice too!' dilemma. Charlie is very outgoing and likes to share all his tricks with, well, anyone and everyone, but Henry is off in his own little world a lot of the time. What always irks me is people we run into ALL THE TIME, who will say, RIGHT IN FRONT OF HENRY, 'My goodnes, Charlie is SO CUTE!' Argh.
We also get asked when we are going to 'try for the girl.' Often, when I say something neutral like, 'Oh, we're all done, two is our limit,' people shoot back with, 'You'll change your mind!' Maybe, but we won't be changing the vasectomy, so there.
One more thing (then I'm done, I swear)--I have an acquaintance who has fraternal twins; people will say to her, 'For twins, they really don't look alike.'
People are stupid. Except for us, of course. Glad you broke your blog fast.
Mn people suck sometimes, don't they? We have an 11 year old and a 3 year old and still have a little of the "isn't the baby cute! Oh yeah, you have another child too."
I know--why don't you teach Alex to flip people off when you give him a special signal?! That should stop people dead in their tracks!
In all seriousness, I am continually amazed by the constant stupidity and insensitivity in others. It is even more horrifying to realize that the REALLY stupid and insensitive people are usually the ones who HAVE children!
I have taught a family where there are three girls. An older one and a set of twins. Mom never calls them twins but they are all called sisters which levels out the playing field for the oldest one and I thought quite ingenious.
On the subject of having girls, I have two sons. When I had my second one people actually stopped having much to do with us at the church we went to as I didn't have girls and they did. As one woman pointed out to me "Our sons are okay but our daughters mean the world to us". We switched churches. Who did they think was going to marry their little princess anyway?!!
JAR--
Insane. I guess gender bias goes both ways sometimes.
Misfit---
even before I had the boys, I would respond the same way you would to a family with twins. And I think that's the right way to do it! In the meantime, as soon as people jump in front of my (sometimes moving)stroller, I say some variation of "And Alex is such a great big brother."
Familyferst--
Wasn't the pregancy f-u-n??
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